


This House is not a Home

by stormie92



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Crying, Death, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Hamish Mycroft X Reader - Freeform, Harry Hart x Reader - Freeform, Hope, Kingsman Merlin x Reader - Freeform, Knights - Freeform, Love, Merlin Kingsman x Reader - Freeform, Merlin x Reader - Freeform, True Love, friends - Freeform, kingsman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 00:19:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormie92/pseuds/stormie92
Summary: This story takes place after Merlin's horrible death. Harry comes home to tell you that your husband will not be coming back, ever. Harry shows you a secret and you learn that even though Merlin is gone, this house still can be a home.





	This House is not a Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I have been gone for a wee bit and I hope to return soon. I've been working on writings that are not fanfiction related and the fanfictions I have been working on are going quite slow because my brain seems to not want to work. I hope that you enjoy this story. Excuse me while I still mourn over him. 
> 
> (At least we got my other husband back, Harry, if anything happens to Harry Hart in the 3rd film, I will kill everyone in the room and then myself.) 
> 
> Almost Heaven, West Virginia....

Blood rushing, heart racing, head began to hurt as you glanced out the window. You knew instantly what Harry was going to tell you as soon as he knocked on the door. The moment Merlin told you of this mission you felt something was wrong. 

FLASHBACK: 

“Don’t go?” You begged him “Send someone else. There has to be someone? One of the Statesmen?”  
“You know I can’t leave Harry and Eggsy alone on this. They need me.”   
“I need you too, Hamish” you sighed as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into you.   
“I always come back, Y/N, don’t I?” He nuzzled his head into your neck. Softly kissing your exposed skin.   
“Yes . . . but this time it feels different.”  
He lifted his head up to look at you. Your E/C met his dark green eyes and he smiled as he touched your face, tracing your every feature as though it were a map he needed to memorize to get him home safely.  
“I will find my way back to you just like you would find your way back to me” he whispered ever so softly. Your lips crashed against each other with such hunger and emotion that neither of you could take it anymore.   
“Bed, now” he growled into your ear and led you to the bedroom.  
In the morning, you rolled over and saw Hamish on his side studying you. He was already dressed to leave with Harry and Eggsy.  
“Morning” you grinned as you reached out and touched his face.  
“Mornin’, love” he leaned forward and kissed you.   
“Leaving?”  
“Afraid so, my love. I just wanted to see you for a bit before I left” he teared up a bit and you reached forward to wipe them away. Moving closer, you kissed both his eyes.   
“You come back to me, Hamish. After all, you are Merlin . . . the wizard. Do your magic and return to me.”  
“I love you, Y/N” he spoke softly.  
“I love you too, Hamish. You will never know how much I love you.”  
He kissed you delicately and you reciprocated the kissed. Sadly, it was interrupted by his glasses beeping.   
Harry was on the other end “We must go, Merlin. Eggsy said if we are not ready to leave yet, that he will leave without us. Meet us in five minutes.”  
Merlin groaned as he hung up, rolling you over on your back and moving to where his body pressed against yours. He peppered your body and face with kisses. He whispered in your ear his adoration for you. And he whispered a last “I will find you, I always do. I love you, darling” before he got up and grabbed his suitcase. 

NOW

The door opened and in walked Harry.   
“Y/N” he tried to smile but could not allow himself to do so for the pain was still fresh for him and now he had to break it to his best friend’s significant other, that Hamish was dead.   
“Harry” was all you could muster before you sat down. Those horrible thoughts and feelings you had before Merlin left were not just you worrying . . . they were real. A premonition of sorts, you assumed. Your mind and body screaming at you to not let him go, knock him out or lock him up till it was all said and done. Now, however? It was too late.   
Harry knelt down beside you and took your hand within his “Y/N, I am so sorry to tell you this; I assume you already know . . . Merlin . . . Hamish is gone. He died bravely, saving not only myself but Eggsy too. If it were not for him, Y/N, none of us would be here.”  
You felt your throat starting to close, hot tears were welling up in your eyes and you tried hard to not let them fall but alas you failed. Your tears rushed down your face as if geysers were erupting. Harry squeezed your hand, glancing down at the ring that adorned your ring finger.   
Voice cracking you questioned “How? How did it happen, Harry?”  
Harry shook his head “Oh, Y/N, I do not think that you should-“  
You interrupted “No, I wish to know . . . I need to know.”   
He sighed and tightened his grip again on your hand “We were at Poppy’s base . . . walking through and scanning for mines. Our scanner failed and Eggsy's stepped on a mine. We all froze. Merlin told us to not to worry because he had something that could help. He took out a can and used it to freeze around the base of the mine. Told Eggsy he had a few seconds to get off and run. . . We all got ready to head out before the blast when nothing happened, except the click of the mine. Turning, we saw that Merlin had stepped onto the mine to keep the pressure on it. I ordered him off and that I would take his place but there was no way for us to get him off and you know him, he refused. Told Eggsy that their story started many years ago when Eggsy’s father died protecting us and now it was his turn” Harry glanced up at you, noticing the color draining from your face and the tears still rushing down. He brushed a few away before continuing. “We went our separate ways after he told me something, which I will tell you soon. He began to sing Take me Home and drew the guards near him, Y/N, so we could get closer. He took out one while the others rushed him and he stepped off the mine. He sacrificed himself for us and I mean it when I say this, I would have taken his place if I could have.”  
Nodding, you faintly smiled “Sounds like something he would do. And Harry? He would have never let you take his place. Your loss, again, would truly break his heart.”  
Harry grinned, heartbroken at the comment.   
“What was it he told you?” You wiped away tears as you questioned Harry.  
“He told me to give you this” Harry reached inside his jacket pocket and took out a key.   
“What does it go to?”  
“I’ll show you. I am the only person he told because he didn’t trust many. I was told in case of –“Harry went quiet and took your hand to lead you to the room where the key went.   
“In case of this” you finished his sentence as you followed.  
“Yes” he sadly whispered in a tone that you almost did not hear him.  
Harry led you upstairs and into Hamish’s office. Both Harry and you had to take a minute because you left the room untouched, therefore, it still smelled just like Hamish. The faint scent of coffee lingered within the room mixed with his cologne. His favorite sweater was placed nicely over his chair by the desk as if he was planning on putting it on the moment he came home. The mug he loved to use was sitting on the desk begging to be filled but now having no one to drink from it. Your heart sank and your stomach did flips as you grabbed onto Harry, feeling yourself almost wanting to faint. Harry held you close by your waist and walked inside with you. He, too, wished to mourn the loss of his dearest friend but right now he had to remember his training. He can cry and mourn and scream at the world later. He walked with you to the bookshelf where he asked if you were okay to stand on your own for a few minutes. You nodded yes and he let go. Harry began to take books off the shelf and place them onto the desk.  
“He wanted it hidden but not too hidden. Something others would not necessarily look for but easy for him, myself and you to find if need be.” He took a few more books off and soon revealed to you a safe built into the wall.   
“Open it, Y/N” Harry encouraged you.  
“Do you know what is in it?”  
“I do not, I’m afraid. He told me bits and pieces but not the whole story.”  
Shaking, you walked forward and tried to steady your hand enough to place the key within the safe. You turned it and heard a click . . . The door to the safe opened and inside you found an envelope, a photo of the two you when you first met, and a journal. Slowly, you took the items from the safe and clutched them to your chest. Harry closed the safe and put the books in place while you walked over to Hamish’s desk. With one hand you pulled out the chair that your lover sat in so many times before and you sat down, placing the items onto the desk.   
Harry walked to the desk “Would you like me to stay?”  
“Yes, please, but . . . I would like to look alone first.”  
“Very well, Y/N, I can make us some tea if you’d like?”  
“Please. Thank you, Harry.”   
He bowed his head and left you alone with the things Hamish had left for you. You glance slowly at each item, noticing that the envelope had his very perfect handwriting on it, reading “Open this first”. Lifting the envelope off the desk, you opened it carefully, afraid that if you opened to fast that it would burst into flame in your hands. A ring fell out onto the desk as you removed the letter that rested inside. 

It read:

“My dear Y/N,  
You will never know how many times I have written this to you. Each letter, I felt, did not feel real enough or good enough to leave behind. I hope this one is because I will just write from the heart instead of trying to be proper.   
The moment I met you I knew you were the one, my soulmate, my red string, my other half that I was destined to find. To be honest I never thought you were real. I thought that I would be alone in this forever and then I joined Kingsman with the rules of no dating or relationships, I figured I signed away love for good. Then you came along and I decided I wanted to be with you, to hell with the rules. What is life if you cannot share your heart with someone that you love?   
I will admit, I was horrified because being a Kingsman agent comes with a lot of danger. If I wasn’t careful, something could have happened to you, and I sure did not want that. And then there was me . . . anything could happen to me in this field. I could get injured, lose an eye or a leg or what have you. Then there was the chance of losing my life. And I didn’t want that because I knew you would be left without me. Broken-hearted and hurting, probably cursing at the poor bastard who had to break the news. Yet, here I am and here we are. . . In love and willing to take the chance on this crazy little thing called love. You trusted me and put your faith in me, you will never know how much it means to me you did that.   
Do you remember our first kiss? How nervous we were? You were visibly shaking and I was shaking too but on the inside. And then we finally kissed . . . I always rolled my eyes at people in books, movies and real-life who said they saw fireworks or sparks. Then it happened with you and I knew I would do everything in my power to keep you safe. After that, it was all uphill. We moved in together. We got married. We made love. Everything with you was perfect and I cherish it.   
Y/N, my darling, I am tearing up now as I get to this part. If you are reading this letter that means I am dead. And I apologise for that, my love. I never wanted this to happen, at least, not this way. I wanted to grow old with you. I know that you are probably crying as you read this. You might hate me right now. You might hate yourself or Harry. Please, don’t hate Harry or yourself. Knowing Harry, he probably tried to help me and I refused because you both know how stubborn I can be. And as for yourself? You did nothing wrong at all. You were the best spouse and one of my best friends. Never hate yourself, never. You were all the things I wanted and more. My gift.   
It’s okay to be sad, Y/N. It is a human right to emotions and with emotions, sadness is one. Do me one simple favor and do not let it consume you. You are stronger and braver than you know, you can overcome this. I know and I promise. You are allowed to cry but not for long, that’s an order.   
Baby, I want you to remember the good times we had. The kisses we shared in the morning and at night. The showers we took that you insisted should be hotter than the depths of hell. Us wrestling because you said you could kick my ass and then me letting you win, well, sometimes. Remember us, in bed, making love. How I would praise you, and trust me, I meant everything I said.   
Know that in my final moments, Y/N, I was thinking of you. I always thought of you . . . even when I shouldn’t have been, I was. The way the light hits your hair, the color of your cheeks when I compliment you . . . the color of your lovely lips. Your precious laugh and the way you kiss me and make me feel how much you love me. You were everything to me.   
You once said that our house would not be a home without one of us in it but you are wrong. It is still a house because our memories linger in the walls, in the curtains, the photos . . . Memories floating around like a ghost and I pray they comfort you. It will always be our house. That being said . . . the house is yours. I remembered that you were afraid if anything happened that you would lose our house, you won’t. It is yours until you no longer want it or you pass away, which better be at the ripe old age of 80. All my things belong to you now. Do with them what you want. Also, the money I have Kingsman . . . it has been placed into an account for you. You will fine for the rest of your life. I promised when we got married that I would forever take care of you and even in death, I am holding myself to that.   
Oh, I might add, that in time . . . I hope for you to date again and even get married if that is what you want. I want you to be happy, I truly do. I am sad it will not be with me but things happen. I just hope that the next person will treat you like the queen you are. I want him to love you and cherish you and never let you go because you are too damn good to let go. Have children. Be happy. Grow old. And remember that if there is an afterlife, I will be waiting for you.   
In the journal, you will find all the paperwork to the house and cars, plus more. You will also find memories, little things I loved about you and us, along with photos and things I wish for you.   
I, kindly, asked Harry to look out for you. I hope you do not mind. He was my best friend and I trust him . . . He will be there for you now and Harry will never let you down.   
I am so very sorry that this happened. 

I love you, Y/N, so very much and I always will. 

Take care of yourself for me. 

Eternally yours,  
Hamish

PS. I left my wedding ring behind in case something happened and they were unable to find me. I wanted you to keep it. ” 

You smiled through tears as you folded the letter back up and placed it inside the envelope. Remembering the ring, you took off the necklace you were wearing and slid the ring onto the chain before placing it back around your neck. Harry knocked on the door and entered with two cups of tea. He placed one down next to you as he placed his hand on your shoulder “Are you alright?”  
“I will be, Harry. I just need . . . time and I need you to help me through this. And if you need it too, I will help you. You and Hamish were close.”  
Harry smiled as he sipped his tea “I will always be here for you and yes, I think I would quite like having you help me too. It has been incredibly hard dealing with it.”  
“It’s okay to cry, Harry. God knows I will be crying soon again for a little bit but after we cry, we have to be happy . . . happy with the fact that we knew Hamish, that we loved him and that he loved us. Live on in his memory.”  
“I agree, Y/N, you are very wise. I can see why he loved being with you.”   
“You know, Harry, for the longest time I thought that if anything happened to him that I would leave this house. I felt that it would not be a home without him. I was wrong . . . it will always be home because this is where our love was made and grew. He said the walls and curtains and photographs all had memories in them, he was right, as usual. These memories will never fade and I will hold onto them, these memories may be ghosts of Hamish now, but I welcome them. This house . . . is my home.”


End file.
